Saturday 11 March 2017

Swedish Councillor narrates reasons workers should be given an hour s3x break

Sex break in the ofice

A Swedish councillor has made a proposal which states that people should be given one hour s3x breaks from their various places of work either to go home or hang around the office and enjoy brillian s3x.

The proposal states that taking time to briefly leave your office desk to have s3x would go a long way to relieve office stress, increase focus, and make workers happier – and, as a result, better at their jobs.

At work, that can only be a good thing. Happy workers are productive workers, right?

He said “I get why people might be a little freaked out by the idea of their co-workers running off for a quick bang sesh. But that’s something I reckon we should change.”

“I’m tired of the fact that when we’re at work, we pretend to be work-focused machines that don’t have human needs or a life outside of work.”

“We pretend that we don’t fancy our co-workers, because that would be inappropriate. We pretend we’re not exhausted after getting hardly any sleep. We agree to stay late because we don’t want to admit that actually, while we don’t have concrete plans, we’d quite like to go home and eat a giant bag of tortilla chips in front of the TV.”

“We try to stay as silent as possible when we’re having s3x and our housemates are home. We’re embarrassed of buying condoms. If we’re asked what we did last night, we’d never say that we spent a few hours engaged in some intensely passionate love-making involving a blindfold and The Weeknd playing in the background.”

“For some reason, even when we’re proper adults, we’re still set on pretending that we’re not s3xual beings. Which is really bloody weird.”

We all have s3xual needs. We all do s3xual stuff. Why are we acting like it’s a big secret?

“But even if you’re not on board with my personal mission to make everyone talk about s3x, you should be on board with the concept of s3x breaks.”

Why? Because the way we’re currently working is ruining our lives.
Unless you work in one of those ‘cool’ offices with bean bags and free snacks, you’re probably working in a culture that encourages you to stay late, eat your lunch at your desk, and always be on email alert in case anyone needs anything.

We have a work culture that tells you that the more time you spend at work, the better work you’re probably doing. We’re praised for prioritising work above everything else, given promotions because we’re ‘committed’ and ‘hard-working’ over the person who leaves on time.

This is leaving us stressed, overworked, racked with guilt every time we take a sick day, and spending hours faffing about on the internet when we’ve finished our work because we feel like we can’t leave early.

And it’s wrecking our relationships, because we’re prioritising everything else over fulfilling our romantic and s3xual needs.

S3x breaks are a brilliant idea because they give us permission to pause our focus on work and get back to another side of ourselves: the side that’s s3xual, romantic, and isn’t constantly thinking about hitting targets and ticking off to-do lists.

The ideal, I reckon, is fully flexible working hours that allow us to take breaks whenever we need, get our work done when we feel most capable of doing it, take holidays when we’re feeling overworked, and never feel like we have to ‘show our face’ at the office when we don’t actually have any work that needs to be done.

I get that there are things holding companies back from implementing that ideal.

So maybe the best option for right now is introducing moves like s3x breaks, to force us to switch off from work for an hour and be our best, happiest, non-work selves.

I dream of a working environment where we’re judged on the quality of our work, not how much time we spend at the office.

But while we wait for that, I’m all for giving people permission to have s3x midway through the day.

Let’s start the work revolution with a bang.


Source: Metro, 2017

No comments:
Write comments