A Swedish councillor has made a proposal which states that
people should be given one hour s3x breaks from their various places of work
either to go home or hang around the office and enjoy brillian s3x.
The proposal states that taking time to briefly leave your
office desk to have s3x would go a long way to relieve office stress, increase
focus, and make workers happier – and, as a result, better at their jobs.
At work, that can only be a good thing. Happy workers are
productive workers, right?
He said “I get why people might be a little freaked out by
the idea of their co-workers running off for a quick bang sesh. But that’s
something I reckon we should change.”
“I’m tired of the fact that when we’re at work, we pretend
to be work-focused machines that don’t have human needs or a life outside of
work.”
“We pretend that we don’t fancy our co-workers, because that
would be inappropriate. We pretend we’re not exhausted after getting hardly any
sleep. We agree to stay late because we don’t want to admit that actually,
while we don’t have concrete plans, we’d quite like to go home and eat a giant
bag of tortilla chips in front of the TV.”
“We try to stay as silent as possible when we’re having s3x
and our housemates are home. We’re embarrassed of buying condoms. If we’re
asked what we did last night, we’d never say that we spent a few hours engaged
in some intensely passionate love-making involving a blindfold and The Weeknd
playing in the background.”
“For some reason, even when we’re proper adults, we’re still
set on pretending that we’re not s3xual beings. Which is really bloody weird.”
We all have s3xual needs. We all do s3xual stuff. Why are we
acting like it’s a big secret?
“But even if you’re not on board with my personal mission to
make everyone talk about s3x, you should be on board with the concept of s3x
breaks.”
Why? Because the way we’re currently working is ruining our
lives.
Unless you work in one of those ‘cool’ offices with bean
bags and free snacks, you’re probably working in a culture that encourages you
to stay late, eat your lunch at your desk, and always be on email alert in case
anyone needs anything.
We have a work culture that tells you that the more time you
spend at work, the better work you’re probably doing. We’re praised for
prioritising work above everything else, given promotions because we’re
‘committed’ and ‘hard-working’ over the person who leaves on time.
This is leaving us stressed, overworked, racked with guilt
every time we take a sick day, and spending hours faffing about on the internet
when we’ve finished our work because we feel like we can’t leave early.
And it’s wrecking our relationships, because we’re prioritising
everything else over fulfilling our romantic and s3xual needs.
S3x breaks are a brilliant idea because they give us
permission to pause our focus on work and get back to another side of
ourselves: the side that’s s3xual, romantic, and isn’t constantly thinking
about hitting targets and ticking off to-do lists.
The ideal, I reckon, is fully flexible working hours that
allow us to take breaks whenever we need, get our work done when we feel most
capable of doing it, take holidays when we’re feeling overworked, and never
feel like we have to ‘show our face’ at the office when we don’t actually have
any work that needs to be done.
I get that there are things holding companies back from
implementing that ideal.
So maybe the best option for right now is introducing moves
like s3x breaks, to force us to switch off from work for an hour and be our
best, happiest, non-work selves.
I dream of a working environment where we’re judged on the
quality of our work, not how much time we spend at the office.
But while we wait for that, I’m all for giving people
permission to have s3x midway through the day.
Let’s start the work revolution with a bang.
Source: Metro, 2017
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